When I think of my life and instances in which I have experienced bias, oppression, discrimination, and other things of this nature, I automatically think of my childhood.  It seems like once I entered the school system, I became the target of these things, mainly because of the fact that I lived in extreme poverty.  Children always laughed at my clothing and would say that I probably didn't take baths.  They would make fun of my hand-me-down clothing and say things about me probably being on food stamps and welfare (which I was).  Adults were always giving me "the look" and I could always tell that they would prefer that their child never ask to have me over.  They wanted their child to be nice to me, but prayed that their child would never want to be my friend.  If everything ever came up missing, it was assumed that I took it (because I was poor).  These types of things were daily occurrences.
     Then I tried to think about times that I was discriminated against that had nothing to do with my socioeconomic status and I was reminded of an event that occurred when I was in the fifth or sixth grade.  I had been invited to a church event by a friend.  We were in the pastor's home waiting on his daughter, who was the youth group leader, to get ready.  We were sitting in the living room and had made a game of putting our feet up on their coffee table.  Any time that I would put my feet up on the table, one of the other girls would kick my feet off.  It started to get rough and a bit tense and finally one of the girls said, "you can't put your feet on this table unless you are a Christian."  I had never even heard of the word and really didn't understand what was going on... just that I was not included in this group of girls for some reason beyond my control.
   When I think of instances like this, I try to recall the feeling that I had during those times.  I felt embarrassed and ashamed, like I had done something wrong, but I really didn't know what it was.  I felt angry that I was mistreated for things that I had no control over.  I desperately wanted to belong, but just couldn't figure out what these other children wanted me to change in order to be part of their group.  I felt powerless.  I felt like the world was so unfair.
     I think that the only way to change these types of incidents is to change attitudes, assumptions, and values.  Children are socialized into treating others this way.  They are taught (whether intentionally or not) who belongs in the "in" groups and who does not.  In order to create greater equity for everyone, we have to change how we treat others and we have to change the messages that we send to our children about how others are to be treated.