My Big Fork and Spoon, My Recipe Binder, and a Memory Card of Pictures
  
     I think that many of us think often about things like this.  For me, it is if my house were to catch fire and burn to the ground.  What would I try to take?  I always tell myself that I would grab every picture off of the wall along my way out of the door and grab every picture album that I could get my hands on.  Even if I couldn't, my mom and others have pictures that I could always make copies of.  So, I have always just decided that I would just want my husband and kids out safe with me.  Everything else could burn to the ground.
     When considering if I were to become a refugee, displaced to a new country, my thoughts were exactly the same... I just wanted my husband and kids.  As long as I had that, then I could care less about any object.  I discussed this scenario with my teenage son, to see what objects he thought we should take that represent our family culture.  He said our tea pan!  It was so funny to me that this was the first thing that came to his mind.  We have an old, battered sauce pan that we use only to cook tea on the stove.  When my husband and I first got married, I didn't want to ruin any of my new pans by cooking tea in them.  My mom gave me her old tea pan, that had also been my grandmother's tea pan.  It is just a cheap, old pan.  It means nothing to me and I would never take it anywhere with me.  Yet it was the first thing that came to his mind.  The next thing that he chose would also be something that I would choose.  He brought up the big fork and spoon.
     The big fork and spoon have hung in my kitchen for many, many years and they have a funny story behind them.  It is a long story, but I will shorten it.  My husband and I loved watching Everybody Loves Raymond.  In one of our most favorite episodes, Frank and Marie had a huge fight over a large wooden fork and spoon that had hung in their kitchen for years.  We LOVED this episode.  Many years later, my husband's grandmother passed away and we had the task of clearing out her house.  We were the first humans up in her attic in 30 years or more.  It was dark, dirty, and scary!  In a corner of this attic, buried under a lifetime of clutter, we found this large, wooden fork and spoon.  It has been in our kitchen ever since.  It is an inside joke for my husband and I.  Most people see it hanging in our kitchen and probably question our sense of style.  It is special to my husband and I, though and will probably be with us until our dying day.
     The other thing that I would take would be a memory card with every single picture that I could fit on it.  I would be sad if I lost all of my pictures and the memories and feelings that looking at old pictures can evoke.  I sometimes forget what my children looked like when they were babies.  I sometimes forget funny ways that they pronounced words.  I forget little funny things that they did.  Looking at old pictures reminds me of these things and brings a special feeling, both sweet and bittersweet.  I would hate to forever loose those memories and feeling.  That is why I would want a memory card with all of my pictures on it. 
     I had a hard time coming up with my last item.  My son's girlfriend joked that I should say food.  We are huge foodies in our house.  We always put out a huge spread and every occasion revolves around food.  I didn't think that food would be a good answer, but still couldn't think of a good third object.  Late last night it occurred to me how to bring our love of food with us.  I have a binder with all of our favorite recipes.  We try new recipes all the time.  If it isn't great, I just throw the recipe away.  If it is wonderful, then we call it a "keeper" and I put the recipe in my binder.  My sons joke that "if" they ever move out, then I will have to make them a copy of my recipe binder to take with them, so that they will know how to make all of their favorites.  Our family culture centers a lot around food, meals shared, and treasured recipes.  This binder makes a perfect third item.  I would probably even take it over the large fork and spoon.
     If I showed up in this country that I had to take refuge in and was told that I could only take one of these items, I would be disappointed.  However, I would gladly give up all three items if it meant that my family could still be together and safe.  I would keep my pictures and give up the large fork and spoon and recipe binder.
     I really realized that in our family, we really treasure memories and making memories.  I often tell my husband that this is our time to be making memories.  We are also big on making and sharing food together.  However, nothing is more important in our family culture than being together.  As long as our family is safe and intact, nothing else matters.  We would all gladly give up any object in order to keep us all safe and together.  That is our family culture.