My Connections to Play

  I noticed that my quotes about play mostly revolve around outside.

The things that I spent hours playing with as a child...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  When I think about how my play was supported by the adults in my life, I realize that it was mostly by giving us the freedom to play.  When we got up in the morning, we were given breakfast and then sent outside.  We were not expected to be in the house unless it was time for a meal or dark outside.  No one ever asked where we were or what we were doing.  We didn't have lessons to go to or practices scheduled.  We were not in any organized sports as small children.  When I was a child, organized sports didn't even exist until you entered junior high.  Our parents purchased us few toys (very few) and they gave us the freedom to play and explore.  They never stood over us to make sure that we played in any certain way.  They didn't plan activities for us.  Our play was exploring the world without any rules as to how to do our exploring.  Play is so different today.  Granted, play is much safer than when I was a child, but it is so rigid and planned out.  Children are told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.  It seems as if adults are so caught up in planning everything out for children.  They enter them in to every club and every sport and it becomes very important to the adult that the child is the best at everything.  Children are no longer given any time without adult supervision.  Children are never given the opportunity to explore without rules and supervision.  Everything today is so planned out for children.  Like I said.... much safer, but at what other costs?

Relationships

Relationships are important to me because they motivate my every move.  My husband and children are the reason for which I do the things I do.  I work a full time job.  I clean, cook, and do laundry.  I work very hard every day to try to do the right thing, be a good person, and set a good example.  I do these things because of the results that they will have on the people that I love the most… my husband and children.  My relationships are also important to me because these people love me in return and support me.  My parents, my friends, my children, and my husband are always there when I need them.  If I need a hug, encouragement, a kind word, a shoulder to cry on, or even people to go an a beach vacation with… these people are there.  They help me to not feel alone.  They make me stronger because I know that there are people that will always be on my side and who will have my back no matter what.

                My most positive relationships are those that never come and go.  My relationship with my parents, my husband, and my children and the most positive.  These people never leave my side.  We may fight.  We may annoy each other.  We may say not so nice things to each other on occaision.  However, this never makes us turn our back on one another.  My relationship with my parents, husband, and children all developed first from a mutual need.  We take care of each other.  We support each other.  These relationships are maintained by love and by supporting each other.  These realtionships are maintained by spending time together and enjoying each other’s company.  We share our lives with each other in good times and in bad.

  My friends are also positive realtionships as long as things are good in the friendship.  My friends give me someone to vent to, someone to laugh with, and someone to hang out with when I need a break.  My frienships develop by having a common interest.  For me this is usually by working together or by my husband working with them or with their husbands.  These realtionships are maintained by spending time together and sharing informaiton with each other about our lives.

The biggest challenge that I have discovered about realtionships over time is that once that common interest is gone, the relationship rarely lasts.  I don’t have any friends that I went to high school with that are still in my life.  I make friends with people at work, but once I leave the job or they do, the realtionship gradually fades.  My husband and I have had many “other couple” friends over the years, but once the thing that we had in common, the thing that brought us together, is gone, then so is the friendship.  We have also had may friends over the years that have become divorced.  Once this happens, the other couple each goes their own ways and our friendship with them seems to have been lost in the divorce.  I have not really had much of a challenge over the years with maintaining relationships with my parents, husband, or children.  These people and I are forever bound and none of us will ever leave the other.  However, maintaining and developing friendships seems to be very challenging.  It is hard to keep interest in maintaining the friendship when there is no longer anything in common with them.  It is also hard to form new friendships because I know that chances are that they won’t last.

I think that the thing that makes relationships also be partnerships is having a common goal.  My husband and I have a partnership in addition to having a relationship.  We work hard together to run our household.  It is much like a business.  We want the maximum outcome possible.  Our profit is having happy, healthy, and well equipped children.  We work together to keep our home safe and clean for them.  We work together to run them to all of their school events, to teach them to be good people, to help them with homework, etc.  My husband and I have a partnership because we are a team working together towards a common goal.

Reflecting on my own relationships has helped me to see how important relationships with families is to the development of each child.  My relationship with the families is a partnership.  We each want what is best for the child and this common goal can bring us together to work as a team for that child.  In order to develop and maintain this realtionship, I have to spend time with the families.  I have to take the time to talk to them.  To ask them questions about their live and the things that are going on, even outside of the child.  I should know more about them than just their name and which child belongs to them.  By becoming a partner with them and by developing an actual realtionship with them, they can the trust that I am there for the same exact reason that they are, and this reason is because we both want what is best for their child.  That is our common goal… to see their child be successful.